Nicolas Cage in Left Behind

The newest version of Left Behind came out in theaters on October 3. So, I've been waiting for this movie to come out since I saw a trailer for it 8 months ago on Reddit. I first thought it was a joke, then determined it was real and desperately wanted to see it.

 The Rapture is a mostly American evangelical Christian belief that Christian believers will be raptured at the end times. From the Latin root raptus, meaning to be carried away.

The history of it is pretty interesting. There's no real definite support for it in the bible. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of stuff about the end times, and some passages about the believers meeting
Jesus in the air, and some other stuff about tribulation...but essentially some different dudes over time have interpreted all these passages to death and decided on their own interpretations. It's a belief that became popular in the late 1700s, early 1800s based on some different guys interpretations of what the bible says. I mean, this is extrapolation of the vaguest kind. Times, times, and half a time (Daniel 7:25) is interpreted as 3 and 1/2 years...um...

If anyone is interested in reading more about what the rapture is, they can check out Wikipedia, which I feel gives a pretty good explanation. It also gives some links to some amazing people, like some guy named Increase Mather, and his son, Cotton. It's no surprise these guys were involved with the Salem witch trials.

There are  also a lot of Christian websites those interested can immerse themselves in, and plenty of people who will spew hate at you for questioning their beliefs in the end times, as well. Anyways, I'm Catholic, so I don't get raptured. I pretty much wind up straight in hell.

 But man oh man, The rapture is the stuff of Hollywood horror. Kids disappearing from their parents, teenager waking up to find their whole families gone. Then, what happens next? Torture for the next seven years.

As a story premise this is BRILLIANT. My husband was terrified when he was a child that everyone he knew would be raptured and he would be left alone. He used to wake up in the middle of the night and check to make sure everyone else was still in bed.

Unfortunately the Christians have yet to use the story gold that history has handed to them. Unable to stop beating the audience to death with their evangelical  message, the story crashes and burns. Sometimes less is more guys. I may not have accepted Jesus into my heart in quite the way you have but I'm not a moron.

I can only assume that editing choices and directing were also dictated by the need to be nice instead of actually telling someone that the choices made were perhaps not the best.

A movie based on the rapture should be like a zombie flick, not really about the zombies, but about what the people do in response to the zombies. How do they react when placed in this confusing/terrifying situation.

Instead we get a nice Muslim man, who isn't saved because he's Muslim (nice isn't enough to get you saved), a dwarf with a lot of issues about being short, and a busy business man who also isn't saved, because he had no time for Jesus or family, oh, yep, and a drug addict, and lots of mom's missing their kids.

My companions giving their best Nic Cage impersonations

There is an HBO show called the leftovers that just came out this year based on the rapture that I'm told might get it right. Looking forward to watching it.

I

Week 7: Go for Ice Cream! Melt is Phoenix Fabulous.

Melt in Downtown PHX

Nothing beats a cool treat on a really hot day, and Phoenix is hot. Although I don't really understand why the weather guys are freaking out over 114 degrees Fahrenheit. Is there really such a big difference between 107 and 114? I don't think going down to 111 should be allowed to be referred to as "cooling off" but whatever guys.

There's a super hip area in Phoenix near Roosevelt strip. I'm not very hip or super, but I do know some people who are, and they told me about it. It's full of funky art shops, a tattoo parlor and vintage stores. One of the most popular places on this strip is Jobot Coffee shop. I was told it was fabulous by my awesome artsy friends and family, and I guess it was a little too hip for me. I went in when I was 8 months pregnant, because my husband needed a caffeine boost before our home birth class with the midwives. We bypassed McDonald's because hey, go local, right?

When we arrived at Jobot we were ignored for a good ten minutes by the barista who was obsessively, lovingly cleaning a chalk board with the intensity that only someone stoned out of her mind can muster. There was only one other customer. My husband ordered a latte, and I tried to order a decaf coffee. The withering look that come out of the barista's eyes was backed with every ounce of her 22 year-old know-it-all scorn.

"We don't HAVE decaf coffee," She snorted through her condescending smirk.
because why would ANYONE EVER order a decaffeinated coffee.

Oh honey, at that moment I cursed her with every ounce of my 8 month pregnant in 110 degree weather in the summer of Arizona rage, and darling, that's a lot of rage. I wished upon that young girl the joy of being being pregnant in August, after having endured the worst morning sickness imaginable. I wished upon her heartburn to keep her up all night in tandem with severe sciatica. I also added in a baby that liked to move around and keep her awake, and a bladder so over active that she couldn't sleep for longer than ten minutes at a time. Hemorrhoids, varicose veins and insomnia were added to my mental list. In short, I wished that woman a world of future pregnancy hurt.

So that's when my Jobot boycott began. My husband continued to go, but I made fun of them. A lot. There is such a thing as being too hip, and I felt like Jobot had crossed the line (I mean, even my mom has decaf coffee at  her house, and she's not running a coffee shop).

plenty of nice comfy seating

This post is not about Jobot, however, this post is about Melt, the ice cream shop on the same strip, that happens to be owned by the same person, John Sagasta, and even though the ice cream girl was super hip, she was also super nice and awesome, serving up samples of fruity pebbles ice cream to my two year old with a smile. Also, it's all decaffeinated, so it won't keep my 7  month old breastfeeding baby awake, either (oh man I forgot to curse that girl with clogged ducts, we'll just add that to the list).

So skip Coldstone at the Arizona Center and take a walk down to Roosevelt and 5th Street and have some local Superstition Farms  ice cream down at Melt. It will cool you off, AND it will make you cooler.

great selection!

Chompy sharing with Stinko!